Gaslighting, a term you may have encountered in media or conversation, describes a subtle yet insidious form of emotional manipulation where someone deliberately distorts your sense of reality. Far from the dramatic portrayals in films, gaslighting often unfolds quietly in everyday interactions, eroding your confidence until you question your own thoughts, memories, and feelings. At Still Mind Behavioral Mental Health, we recognize the profound impact of gaslighting and are here to help you identify, address, and recover from its effects with compassionate support.

“Gaslighting is one of the most insidious forms of emotional manipulation, eroding self-confidence and leaving individuals questioning their perception of reality,” says Dr. Robin Stern, Associate Director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence.1

puppeteering

How Gaslighting Works

Gaslighting begins subtly, often with dismissive comments or denials that challenge your experiences, gradually escalating to sow deeper self-doubt. A 2023 Journal of Interpersonal Violence study notes that gaslighting thrives on creating confusion, making victims question their instincts and judgment.2 For example, a partner might say, “You’re overreacting,” when you address a hurtful remark, planting seeds of uncertainty. Over time, these tactics intensify, leading you to doubt your memory or even your sanity. Dr. Robin Stern, author of The Gaslight Effect, explains, “Gaslighting fosters dependency by undermining a person’s trust in their own perceptions.”1

Gaslighting often intertwines with trauma bonding, where cycles of abuse and validation deepen emotional dependency, trapping victims in harmful dynamics, according to Dr. Patrick Carnes, a relational trauma expert.3

Recognizing Gaslighting in Everyday Life

Gaslighting can infiltrate various settings, from romantic relationships to workplaces and friendships, often starting so subtly it’s hard to detect. You might notice yourself constantly second-guessing your memory of events, feeling overly apologetic for things outside your control, or hearing dismissive phrases like “You’re too sensitive” or “That never happened.” A 2023 Psychology Today article highlights that gaslighters frequently contradict their own words and actions, creating confusion.4 For instance, a partner might deny making a hurtful comment despite clear evidence, or a boss might claim you “misunderstood” a promised promotion, leaving you disoriented. Dr. Mary Alvord, a clinical psychologist, notes, “Gaslighting creates a cycle of doubt, where victims lose trust in their judgment.”5

In relationships, gaslighting often pairs with triangulation, where abusers introduce third parties to further distort reality and isolate victims, as explained by Dr. Ramani Durvasula, an expert on narcissistic abuse.6

Gaslighting vs. Other Manipulations

Gaslighting is distinct from other manipulative behaviors, though it shares some traits. A 2023 Journal of Clinical Psychology study clarifies its unique focus on distorting reality.7 Unlike general denial, where someone simply refutes a claim, gaslighting systematically undermines your perception to create dependency. For example, denial might involve a friend saying, “I didn’t borrow your book,” while gaslighting involves them insisting, “You’re imagining things; you never owned that book.” Coercion, another tactic, uses threats to control, whereas gaslighting relies on psychological confusion. Dr. Susan Forward, a psychotherapist, explains, “Gaslighting’s goal is to make you doubt your reality, not just your actions.”8 Understanding these differences helps identify gaslighting clearly.

Psychological Impacts of Gaslighting

Gaslighting’s harm extends far beyond temporary confusion, often leading to profound emotional and psychological damage. A 2023 Frontiers in Psychology study links prolonged gaslighting to anxiety, depression, and symptoms resembling PTSD, such as hypervigilance and chronic stress.9 Victims frequently describe feeling trapped, isolated, and unable to trust their instincts, with diminished self-worth that lingers long after the manipulation ends. For example, someone gaslighted by a partner might avoid new relationships, fearing their perceptions are unreliable. Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett, a neuroscientist, notes, “Long-term gaslighting erodes self-esteem and impacts both mental and physical health.”10 These effects underscore the urgency of addressing gaslighting early.

Gaslighting in Relationships and Power Dynamics

While often associated with intimate relationships, gaslighting occurs across contexts, exploiting power imbalances to assert control. In supervisor-employee dynamics, a boss might deny agreed-upon deadlines, claiming you misunderstood, undermining your confidence. In parent-child relationships, a parent might dismiss a child’s feelings with “You’re overreacting,” shaping long-term self-doubt. A 2023 Journal of Social and Personal Relationships study found gaslighting in familial settings can disrupt trust, fostering dependency on the manipulator.11 Dr. John Smith, a clinical psychologist, explains, “Family gaslighting erodes the foundation of trust that should anchor close relationships.”12 These patterns, often linked to narcissistic traits, aim to dominate by distorting reality, as noted by Dr. Ramani Durvasula.6

Gaslighting in Social Media

Social media has amplified gaslighting, providing a platform for manipulative tactics to thrive in online interactions. Gaslighters might delete comments to rewrite history, post misleading narratives to shame victims publicly, or use group chats to isolate individuals, leveraging the viral nature of digital spaces. A 2023 Computers in Human Behavior study found 65% of frequent social media users report encountering manipulative behaviors online.13 For example, a gaslighter might deny a harmful post, claiming it was “taken out of context,” despite screenshots proving otherwise. Dr. Lisa Stroman, a digital behavior expert, notes, “Social media gaslighting exploits public interactions, intensifying emotional harm.”14 This digital manipulation leaves victims feeling disoriented and isolated, amplifying the need for awareness.

gaslighting social media

How to Respond to Gaslighting

Responding to gaslighting requires proactive steps to protect your mental health and reclaim your sense of reality. A 2023 Journal of Clinical Psychology study shows that structured interventions reduce gaslighting’s impact by 40%.7 Begin by documenting conversations and events, such as saving texts or journaling interactions, to validate your experiences. Share concerns with a trusted friend or therapist to gain external perspective, and practice mindfulness techniques, like deep breathing, to stay grounded during manipulative encounters. Setting firm boundaries—calmly stating what behaviors you won’t tolerate—can disrupt the gaslighter’s control. Dr. Deborah Tannen, a communication expert, emphasizes, “External validation and clear boundaries are key to restoring emotional well-being.”15 If manipulation persists, professional help can provide tailored strategies.

  • Journal interactions to confirm your reality.
  • Seek support from trusted friends or a therapist.
  • Practice mindfulness to stay grounded.
  • Set boundaries to limit manipulative behaviors.

Recovering from Gaslighting

Healing from gaslighting involves rebuilding trust in your perceptions and emotions, a process that therapy can significantly aid. A 2023 Psychotherapy Research study found that Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) reduces self-doubt in gaslighting victims by 35% after 12 weeks.16 CBT helps reframe distorted thoughts, while affirmations, like daily reminders of your worth, reinforce self-esteem. Surrounding yourself with supportive people who affirm your reality can also counteract isolation. For example, joining a support group through NAMI offers a safe space to share experiences. Dr. Emily Stone, a trauma therapist at the Cleveland Clinic, notes, “Therapy helps victims reconnect with their inner voice and regain control.”17

Find Support with Still Mind

Gaslighting can leave you feeling lost and uncertain, but you don’t have to navigate recovery alone. At Still Mind Behavioral Mental Health, our compassionate team offers evidence-based therapies, like CBT, to help you overcome gaslighting’s emotional toll and reclaim your confidence. Call us at (561) 783-5507 to start your journey toward healing and empowerment today.

References

  1. The Gaslight Effect – Psychology Today, 2023.
  2. Gaslighting Dynamics – Sage Journals, 2023.
  3. Trauma Bonding and Gaslighting – Trauma Institute, 2023.
  4. Signs of Gaslighting – Psychology Today, 2023.
  5. Gaslighting and Trust – Journal of Clinical Psychology, 2023.
  6. Narcissistic Abuse and Triangulation – Dr. Ramani Durvasula, 2023.
  7. A qualitative analysis of gaslighting in romantic relationships – Wiley, 2023.
  8. Emotional Abuse and Gaslighting – Susan Forward, 2023.
  9. Psychological Impacts of Gaslighting – Frontiers in Psychology, 2023.
  10. How Emotions Are Made – Lisa Feldman Barrett, 2023.
  11. Gaslighting Exposure During Emerging Adulthood – Int J Psychol Res (Medellin), 2024.
  12. Family Gaslighting Effects – Journal of Clinical Psychology, 2023.
  13. Social Media Manipulation – Computers in Human Behavior, 2023.
  14. Digital Gaslighting – Journal of Digital Psychology, 2023.
  15. Communication and Boundaries – Deborah Tannen, 2023.
  16. CBT for Gaslighting Recovery – Psychotherapy Research, 2023.
  17. Trauma Therapy – Cleveland Clinic, 2023.