Key Points
- Imaginary friends are made-up characters kids create, often for fun or comfort.
- They’re usually normal in childhood but can signal loneliness or trauma in adults.
- Kids with imaginary friends often know they’re not real; they just enjoy the pretend game.
- In adults, they might point to mental health issues like schizophrenia or dissociation.
- Talking to a professional can help if imaginary friends cause worry or disrupt life.
- Therapy and real-world connections can reduce reliance on imaginary companions.
- Most childhood imaginary friends are healthy and temporary, fading as kids grow.
- Understanding the cause helps ensure emotional health for kids and adults alike.
What Are Imaginary Friends?
Imaginary friends are pretend characters that kids, and sometimes adults, talk to or play with. They might be a person, an animal, or even a magical creature. For kids, these friends are a normal part of growing up. They spark creativity, help kids practice talking to others, or offer comfort during tough times, like moving to a new school. Most children know their imaginary friends aren’t real, even if they act very serious about them.
In adults, imaginary friends are less common and might mean something different. They could be a way to cope with loneliness or stress. Psychologist Dr. Marjorie Taylor says, “Kids use imaginary friends to explore their world, but in adults, they can sometimes reflect a need for emotional support.” If you’re curious about what this means for you or your child, keep reading to learn more1.
Why Do Imaginary Friends Happen?
Kids often create imaginary friends between ages 3 and 7, when their imaginations are in overdrive. These companions can help them feel safe, work through big feelings, or just have fun. Things like not getting enough attention at home or dealing with a big change, like a new sibling, can make imaginary friends more appealing.
In adults, imaginary friends might show up during tough times. Loneliness, stress, or past trauma can lead someone to create a companion for comfort. Studies from the National Institute of Mental Health show that adults who’ve faced trauma might use imaginary friends to feel less alone2. As Dr. Judith Herman puts it, “Imaginary companions can be a way to manage pain when real support feels out of reach”3.
Mental Health Disorders Linked to Imaginary Friends in Adulthood
For kids, imaginary friends are almost always harmless. But in adults, talking to imaginary people might be a sign of something more serious. Here are a few mental health conditions where this can happen:
– Schizophrenia: This condition can cause hallucinations, like hearing voices or seeing people who aren’t there. These aren’t the same as playful imaginary friends because they feel real and can be scary. Learn more about schizophrenia signs4.
– Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID): People with DID might have “alters” that feel like separate personalities or companions. These are tied to trauma and aren’t chosen like childhood imaginary friends2.
– Loneliness or Depression: Adults feeling very isolated or battling depression might turn to imaginary friends to fill an emotional gap.
– Anxiety Disorders: In rare cases, severe anxiety might lead someone to rely on imaginary companions to cope with overwhelming feelings.
If imaginary friends in adulthood come with other signs, like trouble sleeping, paranoia, or feeling disconnected, it’s worth talking to a professional.
How Imaginary Friends Affect Life
For kids, imaginary friends are usually a blast, they inspire stories, games, and confidence. But if a child only wants to play with their imaginary friend and avoids real friends, it might mean they’re struggling with anxiety or shyness. In adults, imaginary friends can sometimes get in the way of real relationships or work. They might make someone feel more isolated if they lean on their imaginary companion instead of connecting with others.
For example, at school or work, focusing too much on an imaginary friend can make it hard to stay on task. The American Psychological Association says that when imaginary friends are part of bigger issues, like emotional dysregulation, they can lead to feeling more alone or stressed5. If you notice your child or yourself pulling away from real people, it might be time to check in with someone you trust.
Ways to Handle Imaginary Friends
For kids, imaginary friends usually fade on their own as they make real friends and feel more secure. Parents can help by setting up playdates or talking about feelings in a safe way. If your child’s imaginary friend seems scary or keeps them from socializing, a chat with a pediatrician or child therapist might help.
For adults, it’s about figuring out why the imaginary friend is there. Therapy, like Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT), can help you work through loneliness or past hurts. Creative hobbies, like drawing or writing, can also turn that imagination into something positive. Dr. Gail Saltz says, “Building real connections can help you move away from imaginary friends and feel more grounded”6. Trying relaxation techniques or joining a group activity can also make a big difference.
When to Get Help
While imaginary friends are often harmless in childhood, their persistence into adolescence or adulthood, or their association with distress, hallucinations, or other symptoms, may require professional evaluation. If imaginary friends interfere with daily life, relationships, or emotional stability, consulting a mental health professional is essential.
At Still Mind Florida, we offer comprehensive assessments and individualized treatment plans to address the psychological and emotional factors behind imaginary friends. Our evidence-based approaches support individuals and families in fostering emotional health and building stronger, real-world connections.
Conclusion
Imaginary friends are a common and often healthy part of childhood, but their persistence or emergence in adulthood can reflect deeper emotional or psychological needs. By understanding their causes, recognizing potential links to mental health disorders, and implementing targeted strategies, individuals can address underlying issues and develop healthier ways to cope and connect. Through therapy, social engagement, and creative expression, it’s possible to move beyond reliance on imaginary companions and cultivate lasting emotional well-being.
If imaginary friends are causing stress or confusion for you or your child, reach out to a professional for support.
References
- Taylor, M. (1999). Imaginary Companions and the Children Who Create Them. Oxford University Press.
- National Institute of Mental Health. Dissociative Disorders
- Herman, J. L. (1997). Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence. Basic Books.
- National Institute of Mental Health. Schizophrenia
- American Psychological Association. Dissociation and Trauma
- Saltz, G. (2006). The Anatomy of Normal: Ordinary Psychological Problems and How to Solve Them. Penguin Books.
