What not to do to a person with ocd?

What not to do to a person with OCD is an important question when supporting someone with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), a mental health condition characterized by persistent, unwanted thoughts (obsessions) and repetitive behaviors (compulsions) performed to relieve anxiety. While support from loved ones is essential, certain actions and responses can unintentionally make their symptoms worse.

1. Don’t Minimize Their Experience

Minimizing OCD symptoms by saying things like “Everyone has quirks” or “I’m a little OCD too” dismisses the seriousness of the condition. OCD is not a personality trait or a simple preference for organization—it is a debilitating disorder that can significantly impact daily life. A 2022 study published in the Journal of Anxiety Disorders found that individuals with OCD who felt dismissed by loved ones reported increased feelings of isolation and anxiety.

Instead, validate their experiences by acknowledging the challenges they face. Saying, “I understand this is really hard for you” can go a long way in showing empathy and support.

2. Don’t Encourage Compulsions

While it may feel like helping, participating in or encouraging compulsions reinforces the cycle of OCD. For example, if a loved one asks for constant reassurance or insists on repetitive cleaning, agreeing to these requests can make their anxiety worse over time. According to the International OCD Foundation, accommodating compulsions may provide temporary relief but ultimately strengthens the disorder’s grip.

Instead of participating, gently encourage them to seek healthier coping mechanisms. Supporting their treatment plan, such as exposure and response prevention (ERP) therapy, is a more effective way to help them manage their symptoms.

3. Don’t Impose Quick Fixes

Suggesting oversimplified solutions, such as “Just stop thinking about it” or “Why don’t you try relaxing more?” undermines the complexity of OCD. This disorder is rooted in neurological and psychological factors that cannot be overcome through willpower alone. A 2020 article in Mayo Clinic Proceedings emphasizes that OCD requires professional treatment, including therapy and, in some cases, medication.

Offering practical support, such as helping them find a qualified therapist or accompanying them to appointments, is far more helpful than suggesting quick fixes.

4. Don’t Get Frustrated with Their Behavior

People with OCD often feel ashamed of their compulsions and obsessions. Reacting with frustration or impatience can increase their distress and make them feel unsupported. Statements like “Why can’t you just stop?” or visible annoyance at their rituals can worsen their anxiety and strain your relationship.

Approach their behaviors with patience and understanding. If you find yourself becoming frustrated, consider seeking guidance from a mental health professional to better understand OCD and how to support your loved one.

5. Don’t Assume You Understand Their Triggers

OCD triggers can vary widely and may not always be immediately obvious. Assuming you know what causes their anxiety without asking can lead to misunderstandings or unintentionally exposing them to distressing situations. For example, someone with contamination OCD may not just fear dirt but specific objects or scenarios that you might not associate with contamination.

Open communication is key. Ask them what their triggers are and how you can best support them. Listening without judgment helps them feel safe and understood.

6. What Not to Say to a Person with OCD

Words can profoundly shape how a person with OCD feels about themselves and their condition. Certain comments, even when said with good intentions, can invalidate their struggles or amplify their anxiety. Being mindful of language is crucial to creating a safe and supportive environment.

“Why don’t you just stop doing that?” This question oversimplifies a condition that is deeply rooted in anxiety and neurological patterns. For someone with OCD, compulsions are not a choice—they are a response to overwhelming fear. Suggesting they can “just stop” implies that they are in control of their symptoms, which can exacerbate feelings of frustration and shame.

“You’re being irrational.” While OCD-related thoughts and behaviors may appear illogical to others, they are deeply distressing to the person experiencing them. Dismissing their fears as irrational not only minimizes their pain but can also make them feel misunderstood and isolated. This invalidation often adds to the emotional burden they already carry.

“Everyone is a little OCD sometimes.” Comparing clinical OCD to common quirks or habits undermines the severity of the disorder. OCD is not about liking things neat or double-checking your work—it is a debilitating condition that can consume hours of a person’s day. Statements like this trivialize their experiences, making it harder for them to seek understanding or support.

“It’s not that big of a deal.” Comments that downplay the impact of OCD send a harmful message: that their struggles are not valid. For someone living with OCD, their fears and rituals often dominate their thoughts and routines. Telling them it’s “not a big deal” can discourage them from speaking up about their challenges or seeking help.

Instead of using these phrases, focus on showing empathy and offering support. Saying something like, “I know this is difficult for you, but I’m here to help however I can,” acknowledges their pain and reassures them that they are not alone in their journey.

7. Don’t Ignore Professional Help

While emotional support is valuable, OCD often requires professional treatment. Ignoring the need for therapy or medication can delay their progress and prolong their struggle. A 2023 study published in American Psychologist found that evidence-based therapies like ERP and cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) significantly reduce OCD symptoms for most individuals.

Encourage them to seek professional help if they haven’t already. Offer to help them research therapists or accompany them to their first session, showing your commitment to their well-being.

Conclusion

Supporting someone with OCD requires patience, empathy, and a willingness to learn. Avoiding actions that reinforce compulsions, dismiss their experiences, or add to their stress is crucial in helping them manage their symptoms. By fostering a supportive environment and encouraging professional treatment, you can make a meaningful difference in their journey toward recovery.